Relationships

I’ve got it now. I see clearly. I’ll explain what it is I feel I’ve discovered, but let me start with the background.

Sometimes I find myself in dark patches in life. It’s probably a couple of times per year, at least. I’m actually not sure how often they come, I think maybe my writing pattern here can expose some of it. But of course I don’t always write even in those dark patches. Anyway, these dark patches come every now and then, and during them everything seems pointless, tasteless and meaningless. All the things I usually like to do, all the things I have and dream of, they all turn gray and worthless. The only thing that never seems to lose value even in those dark times is my relationships. Especially the one with my lovely wife S. And so this is my latest revelation: The thing that gives all the other things meaning is relationships. And of course, the only relationship that will last forever is the one with the Creator. So the meaning of life is not what I can achieve, not even for God or his kingdom. Instead, the meaning of life is the relationship with him, the relationship with Jesus. To know him and to love him. To be loved by him. This is the core. This is the key. Jesus says “I am the way, the truth and the life”. This is what it means, to enjoy his company and dance with him through life. I am so eager to do good that I time and time again focus on “What should I do?” instead of just “Jesus, I’m yours”. I want to spend time with you Jesus, not trying to optimize my life to achieve this or that, no matter how good. To be with Jesus is to have the right attitude and focus. So this is my new lifestyle. My new focus, my new joy. I don’t worry about getting it all right. I don’t worry about spending my time on the right things. I don’t worry about finding meaning in the things I do. I seek Jesus, I spend my time with him.

And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.